This blog series was designed to answer questions from readers. In keeping with the current news, a young man named Sam writes in. His  brother was murdered in a violent crime with a handgun, and the news about the Trayvon Martin trial has triggered many feelings of distress.

Sam from Detroit writes: Dear Ellen Anmuth Psychotherapist: My older brother was killed about nine months ago in a violent crime  with a handgun. I am too upset to go into all the details about his murder, but all this news about the Trayvon Martin case has caused me alot of suffering again. I was getting to the point where I could block out some of the bad memories, but all this news about this case on TV has made me remember alot of things that I am trying to forget. I am jumpy, have trouble sleeping, feel angry most of the time, and cannot seem to stop the bad memories. I think they call them flashbacks. Can you help? Thanks, Ellen.

Ellen Anmuth, Psychotherapist writes: Dear Sam, I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy in your life. Yes, you are right when you call the bad memories “flashbacks”. Sometimes, when we have experienced a trauma, like the violent murder of someone we love, recurrent thoughts, feelings and visualizations may recur. There is a phenomenon called “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” that you may be experiencing. Would you be open for seeking some professional help to  better cope with this loss? If you call the social services department of a local hospital, they may be able to refer you to some help… either free help, or with a sliding scale based on your ability to pay. With the proper counselor, you could be helped to work through this very complicated bereavement process. I will explain more below.

I use the word “complicated bereavement” because it contrasts with “uncomplicated bereavement”. All deaths involve emotions and thoughts for most of us. For example, if a very elderly person dies of natural causes, and you had a happy relationship, you will grieve, but will likely not be tormented. On the other hand, if a young person is murdered, the survivors are left with a “complicated bereavement” process, needing to work through a series of complicated thoughts and feelings. For this reason, finding a licensed counselor who specializes in complicated bereavement processes would be a helpful strategy.