What are some cues or clues that you are involved in a relationship with someone who is “Integrity-Challenged”?

We may think of integrity as honesty and  responsibility. If you were in a store with small ceramic figurines, and you knocked one over by mistake and it broke, would you inform the store manager and offer to pay for it, or would you hide it and quickly leave the store, hoping to not “get caught”?

This is a simple exercise to evaluate if you or someone you are involved with is “Integrity- Challenged”.  I was inspired to write this today, having had an experience at a car dealership, when I discovered that a mechanic had covered up an error he made two years ago by “super-gluing” a compartment shut, rather than replace the clips that would have kept it working properly.

The advisor told me today that the car part was likely to be damaged when wrenched off to get to the bolt below, and that the dealership refused to take responsibility to replace the unit that was super-glued.

I was shocked by the lack of integrity! I  began a painful journey of speaking to supervisers and managers up the corporate ladder, to find that their response was to tell me that I could not prove that I did not give them permission to do it originally. I called the corporate office of the dealership, informing the secretary to the CEO that it would be completely illogical for me to approve “super-gluing” a compartment shut that required periodic access.

I am awaiting her response, with very low expectations of any remedy. This is too small an issue to take to small claims court, which is what the Dealership probably knows.  Their strategy is to utilize illogical responses to a logical appeal about this being their responsibility.

Does this dealerhship care about one unhappy customer? No, they are in a busy city, with no competetion.

They demonstrated  behaviors that are clues to being “Integrity-Challenged”.  They refused to admit they did anything wrong, they refused to offer any remedy, and they used verbal manipulation and lack of logic to deflect any logical reasoning.

I was astounded when they considered super-gluing a compartment that needs to be accessed as a viable “repair” attempt.

Why is this situation helpful to my readers? When involving yourselves with relationships of any kind — friend, lover, business collaboration–keep your eyes open to “mini-moments” that come through to let you know that a person may be Integrity- Challenged. If you are a person who tends to look for the best in others, you may tend to gloss over and deny the importance of behavioral cues that are a danger sign to a deficit in moral integrity.

ACTION TIPS

1)  Observe others carefully. Notice how they treat other people.

2) Become aware that how a person treats others will eventually be how they treat you.

3) Love and respect yourself enough to evaluate if this person may be a danger to your emotional or professional health and well-being.