How does skin color and ethnic heritage affect self concept and self esteem in America?

I am a Licensed Psychotherapist, Educator, Genetic Counselor, and the creator of “The Language Of Solutions” Self Improvement and Wellness Programs.. As a Genetic Counselor in 1978, I worked in a Genetics Division at a University Medical School setting, helping people with, or at risk for Genetic Disease and Birth Defects understand complex medical information, and to deal with the emotional impact of having genetic disease, birth defects, or neonatal loss. My training at the State University of New York at Stony Brook was “Non-Directive Genetic Counseling”. In other words, I gave information and support, and never advocated opinions related to reproductive outcomes. Much of the work was intense and crisis intervention oriented.

 Back in 1991, a young man who was 19 years old at the time came to me as a therapy client. He was feeling very depressed, and internally conflicted on many levels. He was mixed race, born in Trinidad, and told me that his heritage was black, white, Irish, German, and more.  He had bronze skin, bright blue eyes, and a broad nose.

He said that up until age 13, while living in Trinidad, he had no awareness of the color of his skin, or even the existence of a racial identity. He was just a person, enjoying his life. When he moved to the USA at age 13, he encountered racism like a truck traveling 80 MPH hitting a concrete wall (my metaphor, not his.)

He told me his painful story of “white kids not wanting to play with him because he wasn’t white enough, and black kids not wanting to play with him because he was not black enough”. He was very well-spoken, with clear and proper pronunciation of words….a very sensitive and intellectual young man. He appeared emotionally more evolved than his chronological years.

When he came to America, and people would ask, “What are you”, implying a request to understand his mixed heritage, he would become very uncomfortable, and find himself “apologizing” for the black part of his heritage, by telling stories of slavery that somehow presented an explanation for this “less desired” part of his heritage.

Much of our work centered around building self esteem, and discussing the  undercurrent of racism in America vs. Trinidad, that caused Americans of mixed race to enter into conversations about skin color, identity and self esteem.

When  I saw the TV show tonight, “Black in America”, with Soledad O’Brien as the reporter, I was riveted to every word. The show focused on young people of mixed heritage, and different shades of skin color, and how they felt about themselves. I felt so sad, seeing their pain and torment over racial identity and self esteem.

The TV show also mentioned the “One Drop Rule”, which seems to allude to people calling themselves “Black” when 1/32 of their ancestors are black. The concept of “color-ism” was also presented, related to a photographer producing a book on the various shades of skin of people with black ancestry. I would like to learn more, if people would like to comment on this issue.

The political issues related to mixed race  in the USA are beyond the scope of this article, and beyond my expertise. However, I welcome comments in this area.

My focus of interest, as both a Genetic Counselor and a Licensed Psychotherapist, lies in how growing up mixed race or Black in America affects self esteem, and causes so much suffering in some people. I wonder: Will America ever be a place where skin color is a non issue, such as was in Trinidad 40 years ago, according to the young man who was my client in 1991?

Soledad O’Brien, on the show, “Black in America” spoke about her bi-racial heritage….mother who was Afro-Cuban, and father who was Australian-Irish.

On a personal note, I was always fascinated with the issue of our inner soul and our outer physical appearance. In college, I considered a career working with Burn Patients, whose faces were completely changed by the scarring of burns. I was fascinated to learn how the world would relate to them, and how they would feel about their self worth, in a culture that idolizes a certain concept of “beauty” related to worthiness. I felt a calling to help them to love themselves, despite what cosmetic alteration existed due to the burns, and to embrace the beautiful person inside.

When I was 15 or 16, I was an avid poet, a child of the 60’s, grappling with the social issues of the time. I  wrote a poem called “Prisoner”, and it began: “Here I am, stuck inside my face”….and the poem ended with the sentence, “….only a few people will ever meet me in person”. Perhaps I will dig into my files, find the full poem and publish it here. Apparently, being raised in Long Island, where clothes, image and jewelry  seemed very important, in my own way, I rebelled against the focus on external appearance, vs the true soul inside. Back then, I did not realize the extent to which I was riveted to the issue of  the soul, the person inside, and the over-emphasis on physical appearance.

When I was a child, growing up in the 60’s, a person of mixed race was called Mulatto. President Barack Obama, who has a family tree of a white mother and a black father is called Black, rather than Bi-Racial. I would welcome any comments about all the issues presented in this article, and any ideas about how to help others grappling with low self esteem related to physical appearance.

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Ellen Anmuth Commentary