Tag Archives: Depression

Depression on Easter Sunday

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“Ask Ellen Anmuth Psychotherapist” is a series dedicated to readers’ questions on topics such as depression, anxiety, anger, relationships, communication, conflict resolution, grief/ loss/bereavement, genetic counseling, medical problems, and stress management.  Today’s blog is focused on depression associated with holidays.

Amy from Maine writes: “Dear Ellen Anmuth, Psychotherapist: Today is Easter Sunday, and I am feeling very depressed. I moved to Maine last October from San Diego. My family and life-long friends live in Southern California. This is the first Easter in a new place. I have been feeling depressed all week, and today was a very hard day. Please help.”

Ellen Anmuth, Psychotherapist writes: Dear Amy: Relocation to a new place can be a very difficult adjustment. When I read that you moved from Southern California in October of last year to Maine, that means that you experienced a very cold and challenging winter season. In addition, the sun sets earlier in Maine than Southern California. People who change their locations may have a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder, related to reduced sunlight exposure.

Depression can be triggered by other factors, as well, such as a holiday spent away from family and friends. Was this your first Easter Sunday spent without these familiar faces?  Was Easter Sunday usually a day of spiritual and emotional comfort?

Finally, relocating your home involves loss and adjustment. Some people focus only on the positive aspects of a move, and try to keep up a happy face, in spite of feelings of sadness and loss. Attempting to deny the feelings of loss can create more feelings of depression. There is an expression, ‘what we resist, persists’. By talking about feelings of loss, we become more empowered to cope with the challenges. Speaking with a Licensed Mental Health professional can also be of help. Easter Sunday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries of deaths can all trigger depression. Creating a support group of friends during holiday times can help to avert severe depression. It took much courage for you to relocate across the country. Sometimes it takes equal courage to reach out for help and support during the difficult times. It is wonderful that you were able to write this email. If you continue to seek local support within your community, you will find the transition to Maine easier to adapt to.

 

Feeling Upset? 3 Quick Tips for Getting Happier

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This blog answers emails from readers. Today’s email comes from Jennifer in Kansas City.

Jenifer asks:Dear Ellen Anmuth, Psychotherapist: I find myself feeling upset lately. Do you have any advice? Thanks very much.

Ellen Anmuth, MS, MSW, LCSW, Psychotherapist replies:

Dear Jennifer: Your question is universal. “Getting Upset” is a common phenomenon. By “upset”, do you mean  that you feel angry, sad, or afraid? Do you experience behavioral changes, such as sleep disturbances, over-eating, not eating enough, yelling at other people, using drugs or alcohol? Here are 3 tips for dealing with “feeling upset”.

Tip #1: Look inward, and try to name your feelings. By “Upset”, do you mean that you feel sad, angry, afraid, or all  3? Sometimes, when people feel angry, it could be that they are feeling sad, and are not allowing those feelings to be acknowledged. Similarly, people can feel sad, when they are denying feelings of anger. There is an expression, “what we resist, persists”. One way to manage “upset feelings” is to isolate the feelings, and connect with them. By allowing our true feelings to be expressed, we gain some control over them.

Tip # 2: Notice what events may have occurred in your life in the past year. Did someone you love get ill, or die? Have you had a relationship breakup? Are you having financial problems? Is your health changing? Some of us try to cope with sadness or loss by minimizing these events. It is better to acknowledge the events, and work the feelings of loss through with a friend or a licensed psychotherapist.

Tip #3: Look back to your family of origin history and your childhood. In adulthood, seemingly benign events may trigger unresolved issues of childhood. For example, if you had a very controlling mother or father, a boss at work may trigger some unresolved feelings from years ago. Feelings of helplessness or powerlessness in the workplace could result in depression, anxiety or anger.

Hopefully, exploring these three areas will help turn the general concept of “feeling upset” into a situation in which you can more clearly define and describe the real issues that need to be addressed. This leads to a feeling of control and well-being when a breakthrough in understanding and coping can be achieved.

How to Hold it Together When You Are Coming Apart…Or, It Just Feels That Way

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“Ask Ellen Anmuth Psychotherapist” is an ongoing feature of this blog, “TheLanguageOfSolutions.com/blog”. Readers’ questions  are answered when they have a broad appeal. Samantha is dealing with  universal issues of grief, loss, change and feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious.

Samantha from Texas writes: Dear Ellen Anmuth, MSW, Licensed Psychotherapist and Genetic Grief Counselor:

I have been dealing with many changes in my life. A new job has required me to relocate to another state, away from family and friends. In addition, I need to buy a house, pack and move. I feel overwhelmed with all the details. I am becoming depressed, and the more depressed I get, the more I feel scared that I am in a downward spiral. Please help me cope with all the things I am facing, as I am not holding it together very well. I cannot seem to concentrate as well as I used to.

Ellen Anmuth, MSW, Licensed Psychotherapist:  Dear Samantha: I am sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed, anxious and overwhelmed by the stress of a new job, new location, needing to buy a house, pack, move and handle all the paperwork and details of that relocation.

A home relocation is a giant task…a new job is also huge…buying a new home and moving out of state is monumental.  Feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the tasks is normal.

One solution to getting control of the feelings of depression and anxiety may be revealed in a strategy called compartmentalization.  Here are some techniques that can help:

1) Become aware that there are emotional tasks, intellectual tasks, and physical tasks. Some people believe that there are also spiritual tasks. It may be helpful to begin to write in a journal. log book or diary, creating a section for each topic above.

2) Once you have made entries in your log book related to these different “task” areas, create another sub-section where you write down your emotions related to each area. The exercise of naming our emotions and writing our thoughts and feelings about them may create a sense of catharsis and control. In addition, this exercise may identify topics and areas of your life in which seeking support would be helpful. The support can be in the area of professional counseling, reaching our to friends, or other resources in your community.

3) Years ago, I was a Grant Writer. Faced with this gigantic task, I would make an outline, including goals, objectives and action steps to achieve each goal. For anyone facing a major life move, breaking down each big task into smaller “mini-tasks” can provide two things: (a) a road map of what to do first, second and third, and (b) emotional relief over some feelings of stress, in that the trail to follow has been mapped out.

4) Stay Flexible to Change Course: Anything can pop-up along the way that is unexpected. It is best to “expect the unexpected”, so that road blocks encountered can be experienced as expected steps, not as scary surprises.

5) Honor Feelings of Grief and Loss: Even when a relocation is expected and hoped for, such as a desired new job, feelings of sadness and loss will likely come along. Saying goodbye to friends and local family is very challenging. Finding a good therapist who understands the grief process can be helpful, (Remember that not all losses and grief processes involve an actual death, but rather, separations and change.)

Samantha, I hope these strategies help during your time of transition.