Stress Management is a broad term. Moment to moment, we encounter inner thoughts, past memories and current environmental triggers. This article will focus on the experience of Frustration, and the feeling of Grief that often “hides below” the frustration.

What do I mean by “hides below” the feeling of frustration? This is a figure of speech, rather than a true psychological term. Have you ever been very frustrated over an issue that you cannot change or control, and then began to cry, or feel sadness?

Feelings of frustration and grief are often experienced together, but usually not at the same time. For example, if you love someone who has a destructive tendency, you may feel frustrated that you cannot change or influence that person’s behavior. If you dig a little deeper, you may find that you also are very sad, as well. Ironically, the best way to manage a feeling is to first identify it and acknowledge that it exists, rather than repress or deny it. We tend to feel sad and angry when we perceive that we have little or no control over a situation.

Helpful Strategies to Manage Frustration:

1) Become aware of the issue that bothers you, and acknowlege the feeling of frustration, and loss of control over the situation.

2) Ask yourself if you are also sad about that. If yes, take out a piece of paper and finish the sentence, “I feel sad about this situation because….”

3) Ultimately, acknowledging the feelings of both  frustration and sadness regarding a situation that you cannot change is a strategy to reduce the stressful impact of an issue that you cannot directly control. Future articles will address the Grief Process more specifically, and will describe ways to manage grief in a healthy way.