Hope and Despair: How Full is Your Cup?

Hope and Despair: Ellen AnmuthAre you a “Cup-Half-Empty” person, a “Cup-Half-Full” person, or some place in between?  There are many ways to think about the answer….yes, the question is very subjective and open to interpretation. I did that on purpose.

Where on the continuum of optimistic or pessimistic do you place yourself? If you think of yourself as a pessimist now, were you once an optimist? If so, was there a life event, or multiple life events, that changed your view?

As a Licensed Psychotherapist, I believe that the assessment is an important step in the psychotherapy process. A family history is always a part of the evaluation. I recall one client who was molested in childhood, and could not recall the exact age of the abuse. I asked her to bring in childhood photos. The answer came to her clearly, as we sat together in my office. Flipping through photos, she noticed the change in her smile around the age of 9 or 10. The demarcation point of her sad look was clear, signaling the likely age that the abuse began.

I wonder how this event affected her view of the world? She admitted feeling anxious and powerless related to the repeat sexual abuse by a family friend.

When she came to my office as a 30 year old woman, she appeared happy and upbeat on the surface, but there was a sadness below. We worked through her sexual abuse trauma, and she came through the experience of therapy with a more integrated self and a deeper sense of peace.

Some believe that our outlook in life is based on a combination of Genetics and Environment. What do you think? If you tend to feel more pessimistic about life in general, could it be that you had a trauma in childhood that you may not have healed?

Questions to Ask Yourself:

1) Do you remember a time in life when a trauma happened, and you buried it deeply, not dealing with it?

2) Were your parents optimists or pessimists, or somewhere in between?

3) Have you taken on the world view of your parents? In other words, if your parents were pessimists, do you find that you tend to give up before even trying, because you doubt you will be successful?

4) Do you find yourself listening to mostly sad stories or news reports, or do you open yourself up to hearing about happy and inspirational stories?

Asking yourself these questions can begin the journey into self awareness, and help you identify if your “Cup-Half-Empty” belief system is from unresolved trauma or from your family or origin. Some people suffer a genetic form of depression, and could benefit from therapy. With awareness, change is possible.

 

Ellen Anmuth Film Review: “Field of Dreams” and the Law of Attraction

Ellen Anmuth Film ReviewOPTIMISM, HOPE AND THE FILM, “FIELD OF DREAMS”– A NEW LOOK AT  THE LAW OF ATTRACTION……

According to Wikipedia, “Field of Dreams” is a 1989 American fantasy-drama  starring Kevin Costner, James Earl Jones, Amy Madigan, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and other talented actors. A famous line from the film is “If you build it, he will come”.

When I first watched this movie, I had never heard of “The Law of Attraction”, which has been defined as the belief that like attracts like, and by focusing on positive thoughts, one can attract positive things. Others have added that thoughts alone will not attract positive things into our lives. We must  also do the necessary actions to assist in our manifesting our desires.

How is this film “good medicine” for our lives? Today the Dow hit an all time high. People feel optimistic about the stock market…for this moment in time. There is no guarantee of continued increase in the stock market without some pullbacks. Ah…a metaphor for life? The stock market is higher since its inception, but always with ups and downs.

How do we stay calm and optimistic through life’s inevitable ups and downs?

1) Perhaps watch “Field of Dreams” again for a dose of good feelings. The character, played by Kevin Costner, did actions he believed in, even when others could not see or embrace his visions (pun intended!!)

2) Think of what you would like to create in your life…better health, more love, increase in financial security? Write a journal of your goals.

3) Write down the action steps under each goal.

4) Every day, do at least one action step toward the goal.

5) Keep a journal of your feelings. If you feel sad, fearful or pessimistic, write the feelings down and the date.

6) Do the action steps to address each fear or concern. If you have business concerns, call the local college business school or free resources, like the SBA or SCORE. Ask for help from others, take walks, meditate, listen to music, or do other activities that help your creativity.

7) If you have an issue with love or relationships, perhaps you can call a licensed therapist to explore your issues and get some help.

8) Be open to coincidences and synchronicity. In the film, Kevin Costner’s character went on a roller coaster ride of despair to hope, and found great love, meaning and fulfillment. Yes, watch this film again for inspiration, and enjoy!

Ellen Anmuth Film Review